I am very much fed up with the constant decrying of titleholders in the Community. I have heard more people than I can count exclaim that titleholders are unskilled, undeserving, ill- behaved people with no notion of how to lead. I have seen dozens who said that title holders were irrelevant. I say that is bullshit. I am here to talk to everyone. n this lifestyle my job is to be here and to be available to any and all and to that end I strive mightily. Do I always have time for everyone? NO, I don’t, but does that mean I do not care or that I do not want to be bothered with the minor details of the people around me? NO—in this lifestyle we need leaders who are able to be warm and open and friendly. We need leaders who are here and who have the ability to listen to the ones who come to us, especially those that are new and uncertain. As leaders we need to be out there and present. To say we are not relevant is to say the Community can benefit from lack of leadership, I find that a careless and frightening statement.
I have been told by at least four previous runners for a title that after they lost their run they lost all faith in the contests because it was obvious that it was just a beauty contest. So does that mean that person feels themselves to be ugly? Why has the simple act of losing caused so much disillusionment? I even read one little bit of writing that said that the person who wrote it did not consider themselves Leather but ran for a Leather contest and after having lost was even more certain that Leather did not exist because they were not the winner, then they declared the contest a fraud. It boggles the mind.
For those who have never run, until you have you simply cannot appreciate what it takes to run, much less win a Leather contest. It takes screwing up your courage and asking for donations, it means going out into the Community knowing that you have just painted a big assed target on your back and there will be a lot of people aiming for it. It means begging your friends and family for favors and help in getting together all the things you will need for the contest, being nervous, creating a fantasy –which you have to put on in front of literally hundreds of people- and then you have the judge’s interview, the speech and so on. It is terrifying and difficult and if it was easy—well everyone would do it. It is not easy, which may explain why it is easier for some to complain about the lack of contestants than it is for them to get off their butts and go out there and run for a title so that there ARE contestants.
And if you lose you have to hold you head high and be a good sport. But is that so difficult really? Is there no such thing as good manners and the ability to lose gracefully anymore or is it just that the people who are good sports and have the grace to go on with their heads high and their pride intact are just not seen because their behavior is so quiet in its dignity while the loud screamers who vent their frustration at losing all over the Net and everyone where else that they can are just so visible you can’t help but see and hear them?
And what of the winners? It means going to your boss and praying they understand your new weird schedule, that you will be able to keep your job and still travel. It means being that target, only in an incredibly amplified manner, it means looking at your travel fund and thinking—oh shit, what have I done? And then getting to work on what is a full time job that you will have to do along with living your life, working your other job—you know; that ‘real’ one. It means being available for people, doing your best to educate and offer something of value, it means not being ashamed to pick up a broom or a mop at a party and knowing how to use it. It means holding out a hand to those who are nervous and speaking kindly and weighing your actions even more carefully than you have at any other time in your life. It means having the best intentions and dealing with the frustration that comes from trying to fuse together warring factions and people who want nothing more than to have it their way into a cohesive whole. It means a lot of things really.
Here is my challenge to any and all who feel titleholders are a dying species and unnecessary in this lifestyle. Go compete. See if you can handle the pressure and strain and then tell me how it feels to know you are strong enough to lead because believe me, it is during those moments that you will truly understand what you are made of.
And, if you win, then you will understand the grace under pressure required to lead in the lifestyle...and whether or not it is necessary.
